At 12:07 a.m. on August 27, I opened the official JLPT website to check my results.
I had been waiting for this moment for more than a month.
I logged into my account, opened the results page, and saw the one word I had been hoping not to see:
"Failed."
My heart sank.
I clicked on the detailed results:
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Language Knowledge: 32
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Reading: 23
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Listening: 30
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Total: 85
The passing score for N2 is 90.
I was only five points short.
The JLPT also requires candidates to meet the minimum score in each section, in addition to reaching the overall passing score.
So this wasn't a case of being far from passing.
Quite just the the opposite.
I was very close.
But close is still not a pass.
I Was Afraid This Would Happen
Just one week earlier, I had written a blog post about my anxiety over the results — Seven Days Before My JLPT Results, I Started Thinking About What "Effort" Really Means.
At the time, I said that although I had put a great deal of time and effort into studying Japanese, I still wasn't confident that I would pass.
The situation I feared most was this:
I had worked extremely hard, but still wouldn't get the result I wanted.
And one week later, that exact fear became reality.
I scored 85.
There was also a classmate who, in my eyes, hadn't worked nearly as hard as I had. He scored 60.
The difference between our scores was 25 points.
That's actually a pretty significant gap.
But the final result was exactly the same:
We both failed.
That was probably the most frustrating part for me.
If I had scored 40 or 50, I could have told myself that I simply hadn't worked hard enough.
But I got 85.
I had made it to within five points of the finish line, yet I was still left outside the door.
That really hurts.
But the Result Can't Be Changed
Of course, I'm disappointed.
But I don't intend to stay trapped in that disappointment.
The result is already out.
It has has a fact that I cannot change.
No matter how much I regret things:
"Why did I get that question wrong?"
"If I had gotten two more listening questions right…"
"If I had performed a little better on the reading section…"
"If only I had studied a little harder…"
None of that matters anymore.
What has already happened cannot be undone.
Instead of constantly looking backward, I'd rather accept the result and keep moving forward.
So I didn't give myself much time to dwell on it.
In fact, I almost immediately started preparing for the next exam.
The First Thing I Did After Waking Up
I didn't sleep very well that night.
I kept thinking about the exam.
But when I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did wasn't to feel sorry for myself or repeatedly check my score.
It was:
Registering for the next JLPT.
The second JLPT of 2026 will be held on December 6, 2026.
There isn't much time left.
About 100 days.
The 85 points are now in the past.
The question in front of me is:
How can I make up those five points in the next 100 days?
And not just five points.
Having taken the exam once, I now have a much clearer understanding of where my weaknesses are.
Language Knowledge: 32.
Reading: 23.
Listening: 30.
Reading is still an obvious weakness.
And listening and speaking have always been areas where I know I need to improve.
So this time, I don't want to simply repeat the same study methods.
I need to make some changes.
I Also Have to Start Looking for a Job
Besides the JLPT, there is another thing I need to start doing immediately.
Finding a job.
Originally, my plan was:
First pass N2.
Then, after getting the N2 certificate, officially start applying for jobs, preparing for interviews, and looking for work.
Having an N2 certificate would obviously give me more confidence when looking for a job in Japan.
But now, that plan has to change.
If I wait for the next N2 exam and then wait for the results, it will already be next year.
And by then, my period of residence in Japan will be getting very close to its expiration.
I can't afford to wait that long.
So even without an N2 certificate, I have to start applying for jobs.
I have to prepare for interviews.
I have to start trying to enter the Japanese IT industry.
That means I may have to deal with two things at the same time:
Preparing for the December N2 while looking for a job.
The pressure will definitely be greater than before.
But this is the reality I have to face now.
I Have to Try, Even Without a Certificate
I know that looking for a job in Japan without any Japanese-language certification will be difficult.
Not having an N2 or N1 will undoubtedly put me me at a disadvantage.
I may receive a lot of rejections.
I may send out resumes and not even get an interview.
I might even fail dozens of times, or even hundreds of times.
But so what?
I'm still going to try.
Because:
Even when the chance of success is extremely small, trying still leaves a possibility of success.
If you don't try, there is absolutely no possibility at all.
I've increasingly come to believe that many things in life work this way.
You don't know whether you can do something.
Then try.
You don't know whether someone will accept you.
Then ask.
You don't know whether a particular path will work.
Then walk it for a while and see.
If it doesn't work, find another path.
Failure itself isn't the most frightening thing.
What's truly frightening is being so afraid of failure that you end up doing nothing.
I Have No Way Back
As I write this, I suddenly think back to why I came to Japan in the first place.
I came here because I wanted to change my environment, experience a different way of life, and create new possibilities for myself.
Now that I've I've gotten this far, I can't stop simply because I failed one exam.
I didn't pass N2.
Then I'll take it again.
I don't have a certificate.
Then I'll look for a job anyway.
My resume gets rejected.
Then I'll send another one.
I fail an interview.
Then I'll prepare for the next one.
If I fail ten times, I'll try for the eleventh.
If I fail a hundred times, I'll try for the hundred and first.
I have no way back.
But in another sense, having no way back means I no longer need to give myself excuses to retreat.
Right now, there are only two things I need to do:
Keep studying Japanese.
Keep looking for a job.
Then move forward, one step at a time.
85 Points Are Not the End
Looking back at this exam now, I am certainly disappointed.
After putting so much time and effort into it, 85 points really does feel like a shame.
But I don't want to define this experience as a "failure of my life."
It was only a failure on one exam.
It wasn't a failure of my life.
After all, I've I've from knowing little Japanese to reaching the point where I can take the N2 and score 85.
I'm still five points short of passing.
But at least now I know where the door is.
Next time, I don't need to search for the direction again.
I just need to keep moving forward.
I'm going to get those five points back.
And then I'll keep moving forward.
According to the official JLPT website, the second JLPT of 2026 will be held on Sunday, December 6, 2026.
So this "failure" isn't the end.
It's the beginning of the next 100 days.
85 points.
It hurts.
But I'm not finished yet.